Last night the hubby and I went and looked at a new apartment. By "new" I mean new to us. The building itself is very old. It's been a while since historic preservation class but I'd place it in the early 1900's, certainly no newer than 1920. My weird feelings and doubts have nothing to do with the apartment itself. For a mere $170 more per month we'd have an additional bedroom (which would be my office!) a parking space, a large kitchen with a full sized fridge and dishwasher, and dining area that wasn't also the computer/sewing/everything else room, AND a skylight in the bathroom!
There is no question as to the apartment's value. My hesitations are regarding the change itself. Change is scary after all. It's much easier to remain complacent with the things we have become accustom to and to grow comfortable in our current state. Easier to accept the little things that bother us rather than dive into the whirlwind of commotion it takes to make said change, despite our knowledge that a harmonious calm awaits at it's end. It's the same reason people delay starting a diet and fitness regimen. Change can be hard.
This morning I am sitting in my apartment and reminded of the reason why I fell in love with it in the first place. The breeze gently blowing in, the morning sunshine steaming through the big windows, and the warbling of flute music from a musician practicing in the building next door. When we signed the lease here we didn't know about all the musicians next door. It was an added bonus to have an opera singer serenade you while you wash the dishes, or to enjoy an unexpected violin solo in the evening. I guess I have to remember that there will be unexpected pleasures in any new apartment too. I think I'll look back on this apartment as a time in our lives where we overcame so many challenges, kicked hard times in the butt, and started to figure out who we are as adults. Well, who knows. There's competition and we might not even get this new place. *sigh* Stupid emotions.
Our current home. Is this goodbye? 
I absolutely agree with you, it's hard to change things in life, and it's hard to feel 100% secure in the changes that you make, because there's always doubt and there's always worry. But just as you got settled and accepted the life changes you did in this apartment, you will do the same in the next...and hope for better changes... :)
ReplyDeletebtw, i absolutely love your couch. I want it! :)